Shame shall by no means by tolerated in our hearts and minds. I say this with conviction because shame is dangerous. It is a mental hindrance, an inability to move past a short-coming (whether real or entirely made up). Shame is doubt, it's anxiety, self-condemnation. Shame breaks down everything we've built up and tells us internally that we deserve it.
I had to fight against shame in a difficult way last year, it was ruining my mind, I'd constantly replay the times where I felt I had gotten things all wrong.
Overcoming shame was a journey, and even today I still have times where I need to shove it out of my mind. Shame, just like any vice, can come knocking whenever it likes, but we hold the power to refuse it entry. Changing our thinking pattern is a gradual process which requires intentionality on our part. We have to be strict with the thoughts we allow into our heads and what memories we choose to relive. We need to be consistent in our approach to life events, choosing not to indulge the negative perspective, and to walk through the world with optimism. Before you know it, it will become a habit.
But of course, take things slow. Being patient with ourselves is a kind thing to do, unlearning negative patterns is by no means easy.
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Shame can be unforgiveness in yourself
Often, our shame comes from our reluctance to forgive ourselves. Our self-condemnation may be stemming from an area in our lives where we feel disappointed. We may think of ourselves as having failed in some important way and our inability to get past this may be reflecting our reluctance to come to accept the mistake.
When we can let ourselves move past our short-comings, we become more accepting of the short-comings of others.
Try again. It's one of the strongest things you can do to overcome areas of shame
Shame tells you you'll never succeed, but trying again gives you a chance to prove the voice of shame wrong. Rather than pointing out everything you did wrong from a judgmental point of view, look for areas of improvement and work on them.
Shame is a mental hindrance that blocks us from opportunities and the realities of who we are
Shame won't allow you to embrace who you are. If you're always replaying your losses, you won't have the time to appreciate your wins. Shame clouds our perception of ourselves, for me, shame told me I had no one who supported me, in reality I was the most supported I'd been for a long time.
Failure connotes finality; but if you choose to get back up it's no longer a failure
Shame doesn't get to tell us when to back down. We are the ones who make the final decision. As long as we're alive there's always room for change and growth.
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Shame is an impediment to self-growth and self-acceptance. Address it today and make your mind into a space of affirmation and support.
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